Lynne Ramsay doesn’t do one-dimensional women or rose-tinted romance. Her work lives on the knife-edge of contradiction, where love can bruise as much as it binds. In Die My Love - based on Ariana Harwicz’s novel and co-written with Enda Walsh and Alice Birch - Ramsay swaps Harwicz’s feverish French countryside for rugged Montana and turns her gaze to the chaos of early motherhood and intimacy. We speak about instinctive filmmaking, feral womanhood and creating space for women to be complicated without shame. Interview by Laura Stratford.
Laura: When you started writing the script, do you remember there being a particular scene or a vision for a moment in the film that leapt out at you first?
Lynne: Yeah, it was the opening of the novel where Grace, the main character, is lying in the grass watching her family, feeling the sun on her palm like a knife. A wildly surreal scene - like spying on your own existence. There were many moments, to be honest. She’s a very feral kind of character and the novel is quite visual.
I loved the opening and to be honest, there were several moments throughout the film which I found hilarious.
That was important to me. I wanted the film to have a dark sense of humour, for it not to feel too heavy or serious, because there’s something really kind of absurd and funny about this woman looking at her own family like that; and Jennifer brings that absurd, twisted humour to her performance as well.
She approached you, right, to adapt Die My Love?
Yes, Jennifer emailed me, saying she wanted me to direct it - Scorsese had the rights to the book. At first, I thought it was a little too close to We Need To Talk About Kevin but eventually, I started to see it as more of a love story going wrong, like Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes From A Marriage. In Die My Love, the story follows a couple who have a baby and then they’re not having sex anymore but she wants that intimacy and meanwhile, her creativity is being stifled in early motherhood. I wanted to depict that and add humour and layers to it, so it’s not just one thing and hopefully that’s recognisable and it resonates with people.
©MUBI / Kimberley French
That tension between Grace and Jackson (played by Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson) permeates the whole film. There’s a scene that really encapsulates that for me: when they’re singing along to the country song together. It’s such a moment of contradiction - their connection and distance.
Yes, the song is John Prine’s duet with Iris DeMent called, ‘In Spite of Ourselves’. If you actually listen to the lyrics, it’s talking about the underbelly of a relationship and the things you know about someone; you might not be compatible, but you still love them anyway.
It’s refreshing to see a relationship depicted with honesty and for a female protagonist like this to be laid bare with all her frustrations.
Yeah, Grace is a fierce character. She’s bold and she says things in a very funny, honest and unfiltered way. She’s also pretty unsympathetic as she can be annoying and she doesn’t make any excuses for herself, and I love that.
What was it like to work with Jennifer Lawrence on this role?
She was great. After she sent me the book, it became a really fluid conversation as I started to write the script with Enda Walsh and Alice Birch. We’d make decisions that were slightly different from the book and I remember she once wrote this email back just saying “I love this!”. She really trusted the writing process and the boldness of this character.
What was the preparation process like for this film?
We didn’t have loads of time to prep but I always try to get the actors as early as possible. I got them doing crazy things like dance lessons, hanging out and we talked a lot about their characters. By the time we were ready to shoot, I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to capture but I also tried to be very present as well, because sometimes something will come up that’s better than your preconceived idea. It’s quite hard to describe, I guess, but I’ve worked with cinematographer Seamus McGarvey before so we’re very in sync, visually. Also, I could see there was a real chemistry happening between our actors. On the first day we did some of the intimate scenes and it was a bit like throwing them in the deep end but it felt right to do that. There was fire, you know, between them. So, most things are planned but I like to think on my feet as well.
©MUBI / Kimberley French
Many moments in this film feel so visceral. For instance, when Grace is scratching at the bathroom walls or smashing her head against the mirror of her hotel room after her wedding. Was there one that was challenging or a favourite to shoot?
I guess, the bathroom one - you know where she smashes everything up. We had limited time but we just really went for it and it was great to give her space and let her loose, you know? Sometimes it’s best when it’s like that. I knew I wanted the scratching - that was one note that I gave - but otherwise she just really went for it and went into this different headspace, which I think shocked Robert, as well. The wedding scenes were fun to shoot, too - we set the whole thing up like it was a real wedding and just let everyone improvise.
Were there any moments that surprised you?
Yes, there was this beautiful moment with Jennifer during a scene where her character, Grace, is feeling bored and on her own and during the take, she just walked up to the window and licked it. I didn’t think that was something that a Hollywood actress would do.
So, she just improvised that?
Yeah, and I was just like - wow.
If a cinema asked you to curate a double bill, and one of the films had to be Die My Love, what would the other film be?
Oh, wow - that’s a hard question. Repulsion? There’s an element of Catherine Deneuve’s performance, walking around that house, a bit like Jennifer in Die My Love, that they have in common, but a different era… Actually, I’m gonna change that. I think it’d have to be Women Under The Influence.
Ooh, why’s that?
Well, it’s one of my favourite films that shows a relationship between two people who love each other, even when it’s messy. Gena Rowland’s character, Mabel, unravels emotionally and psychologically but that’s what makes her beautiful and amazing; and then as her husband tries to rein her in, you realise that if you take that away from her, you take the woman away, you know, you take her spark away.
I was reading how at one point you thought you’d be a painter before becoming a filmmaker. If you could paint Die My Love, what kind of painting would it be?
It’d be a Jackson Pollock.
Earlier, we were talking about how you’re very instinctual in your approach as a film director. How do you feel now, looking back to earlier films like Ratcatcher?
I feel like I’m always evolving as a filmmaker and looking forward to the next thing and never wanting to do the same thing twice. That’s where I feel comfortable, by challenging myself and always trying to push the boundaries.
Don’t miss DIE MY LOVE. Arrives in cinemas (UK & Ireland) on 7 November.
Our LYNNE RAMSAY t-shirt is available to purchase here.